Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Change is Good?

Obviously whoever said "Change is Good" didn't deal with anxiety issues.

I have a job which I have hated almost every day of the 2 years I've been here! It's stressful and exhausting, I'm over worked and under appreciated, I carry none of the authority but all the responsibility, and it brings me to tears on a very regular basis. And yet as I look at the prospect of a new and very real opportunity, I find myself... terrified!

To someone who deals with anxiety issues, the devil you know is absolutely better than the devil you don't know. What if this jobs turns out to be just as awful as the one I have now! What if the people there are just as difficult to work with as the ones here! Even though I hate my job with a passion, I'm comfortable with it. I know what to expect, even if that is crap-o-la in a can!

So what can I do? I can hope that I learned from this experience. Hopefully, I won't be so desperate that I overwhelm my instincts. Hopefully, I can go into the interview with the client (if I'm offered one) with all my senses active. Hopefully, I'll be able to ask the interviewer the questions I need to in order to determine if this is as much a good fit for me as I am for them. Hopefully, I can calmly trust my instincts to tell me if this is a good opportunity to not... although, almost anything would be better than what I've dealt with over the past 2 years.

Wish me luck and cross your fingers. I'll keep you all updated!

Monday, March 29, 2010

New Moon DVD Release Party

Two Saturdays ago I had the awesome opportunity to host a party to celebrate the release of the Twilight Saga: New Moon movie. It was so much fun to have so many women, of all ages and religious and political ideologies, come together and bond over something we all can agree on... that Bella should pick Jacob Black! Oh wait... we agreed that Twilight rocks! We were split about even on the whole Edward vs. Jacob and it was fun to debate the pros of each character.

I of course came as Alice... who else!

My awesome friend Darby came dressed as Esme and brought her sparkles! So we could all be sparkly vampires! Hehe!

I decided to base the party around the Italian city of Volterra were part of the movie takes place. I made brachette, cheese, olives, and crackers, and then lasagna for dinner.

The cool framed prints and drink labels are from the awesomest Hostess with the Mostess!

I featured Blood Orange Bellinis, both alcoholic and non-alcoholic.

I made personalized name tags/VIP passes/favors for all the girls. Unfortunately I didn't get any pics that night. I need to take a few of mine and I'll post them later.

For dessert I made Jacob Black-forest cupcakes. :-) They were good but it took more than one bottle of red food coloring to make the icing red. Stained my hands and everyone's tongues! Hehe!

Thanks to my husband's best friend, Dan, we had a very, very, very special guest!!

Yes, that's right! Edward Cullen himself (or his lifesized cardboard cutout) made an appearance. I think Dan just got it for me because he knows I'm a "team jacob". Now he's talking about taking it to the gun range for target practice.

But of course I had to make everyone take their picture with Edward before they left!

It was such a wonderful evening, full of camaraderie, support, laughter, and girl bonding! Oh and a few swoons when Jacob took his shirt off. So thankful to have so many wonderful women in my life! Just 3 more months till Eclipse comes out in theaters! Have to start working on the party for that one!

I hate politics!

Yes, that's right I said it... I HATE POLITICS!

The word "politics" has many meanings and nuances. I think everyone can agree that they hate "office" politics. Someone getting promoted because they have an "in" with the higher ups. People being treated differently because they have dirt on someone else.

But what I'm talking about is the real thing! The Democrat vs. Republican, Liberal vs. Conservative, Libertarian, Moderate, Tea Party, Coffee Party... Lemonaid Party crap!

I hate the way the party out of power nitpicks and finds fault with everything the party in power does, and then turns around and does the exact same things when they come into power.

I hate the way cries go out that the sky is falling and armagedon is coming whenever one side doesn't get its way. Amazingly the sky never seems to fall and armagedon never seems to come.

I hate the way compromise doesn't mean a give and take so that an agreement can be made that both sides can live with, but instead it means ending up with something that both sides can equally HATE.

I hate that unbiased whole-truth information seems to be so illusive! I hate having to fact check EVERYTHING because so much out there is only a half truth meant to lead the recipiant in one direction or the other.

I hate that it seems to be impossible for our leaders to sit down at a table, lay out the things that are most important to each of them, find the common ground and start working from there!

I hate the fact that if one does admit common ground with the other side, that they are barbequed by their own party!

I hate that friends seem to polarize into different camps and tend to assume that everyone thinks like they do.

I hate that in the world of "us" vs. "them", "they" do not deserve respect.

I hate that being rude and unkind is sometimes not seen as something to be punished but something to be praised as "standing up for what one believes in".

I hate that we can't just accept people for who they are and what they believe... that we must force them to agree with us or alienate them by disrespecting their right to have another opinion... if not outright shunning them all together.

I hate being thrown into catagories like "all you (liberals/conservatives/moderates/libertarians)" "your kind" and "you're all alike", when in fact no two of us think exactly alike or hold exactly the same beliefs.

I hate that too often it is impossible to (as my wise, wise friend says) agree to disagree AGREABLY! And then all go out for coffee!

I think many of the world's problems could begin to be worked out over small things that everyone could agree on, like... good strong coffee, a wonderful glass of red wine, and excelent cigars. :-)

From personal experience it's not fun being "one of them" when respect is optional. So... be kind to "them", for you never know who "they" are.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Adventures in tablescapes...

Happy Friday everyone! Just thought I'd let you in on what happens at my house on my Fridays off. :-) Jay never knows what he'll walk into. My kitchen table has become my canvas and outlet for my creativity. In celebration of spring I offer you this...

And while I was at it, I finally got around to bringing in a few branches off our beautifully blooming Bradford Pear tree out in the front yard! They look beautiful across our mantle and I am so thankful for those cup hooks jay put up to hold the christmas stockings. I KNEW I'd use them again!

How are you bringing creativity into your life? Have a great weekend everyone!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Why yes...

I AM throwing a Twilight Saga: New Moon DVD release party this Saturday! Thank you for asking!!!

I know I'm a complete dork, but I've long sense come to terms with this and you, my dear readers must as well. I believe that we are all, in our own way, dorks. We all have our passions that others simply do not understand... be it cars or cult movies or computers or crafting or Twilight.

I'm truly coming to understand the wisdom of this quote by Bill Cosby, "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." This dovetails nicely into one of my all time favorite quotes by the great philosopher, Dr. Seuss, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. "

Personally, I will be spending my week making personalized VIP passes/favors for my friends. Printing out and framing pictures from the movie and making theme appropriate food and drinks. So excited for people to try my Blood Orange Belinis! And Jacob Black Forest Cake!

So, become one with your dorky self! Revel in the things that make you different! Those who truly love you will do so inspite of, or even because of, those things that make you unique.

Dorks unite! What makes you different? What's your secret (or not so secret) passion?

Monday, March 15, 2010

Happy 2nd Anniversary

Today I celebrate two of the best years of my life.

Two years ago today, I was getting my hair done, trying to pull together all the lose ends, and attempting to stay calm.

It's amazing how quickly time can fly and how easily the day to day can make one forget how lucky she is!

So, here's to... appreciating the gifts we've been given, recognizing how lucky we are, learning to revel in the small things, and to never forgetting what an honor it is that such a wonderful, honorable, noble, caring, strong, confident man chose me as his mate. I love him more than life itself!

Happy Anniversary, Love.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010


"Today_________(date) I _________(your name) I will begin to practice healthier lifestyle habits and I will make the following commitments. I will give to myself as I give to others. I will value my health as I value the health of my loved ones. I won't ask 'should I or shouldn't I?' about matters of self care. I will just do it. I humbly accept that I must work to be the best that I can be. I will choose to work for myself, rather than abandon myself. I will take responsibility for my lifestyle behaviors and I commit to practicing them with patience and consistency. And, I will embrace adversity as an opportunity to test my newfound mental and physical strength."

Found this on WebMD today.

It's one of the best things I've seen in a long while! And I pledge to follow this simple statement as best I can from here on out! Who's with me?

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Who Am I?

I've always felt I needed to define myself by something. Even though I never phrased it like this, whenever I met someone I always felt like I was saying, "Hi! I'm Bonnie, and I'm..."

From a young age up until I was about 12 it was...

Hi! I'm Bonnie, and I'm a gymnast.

The day my mom sat me down and encouraged me to quit gymnastics, she said, "You just don't seem to enjoy it anymore." I remember crying. I didn't refute her observation. I simply asking her, "But what will I tell people I AM?"

After that I picked up dance, and until I was in college it was...

Hi! I'm Bonnie, and I'm a dancer.

I remember when I decided to go to school full time and stop seeking a dance career, I again thought, "But what will I tell people I AM?"

Then I got married, and for a long time it was...

Hi! I'm Bonnie and I'm a wife.

I remember being so devastated when I realized the relationship was ending because I didn't want it to be..

Hi! I'm Bonnie and I'm divorced.

Then I met Jay. He was a proud Navy Man and it was...

Hi! I'm Bonnie and I'm a Navy girl.

I was terrified when he got out, even more anxious then he was. Again I feared, "What will I tell people I AM?"

To cope with this I threw myself into becoming a wedding planner and it was...

Hi! I'm Bonnie and I'm a wedding planner.

When I had my health crisis in the fall, I resisted letting go of this, even though it truly came down to my health or my business ambitions. Again, I feared, "But what will I tell people I AM?"

Since then I've been lost, a ship floating... no direction and yet no anchor.

Recently, though, I've begun to think that maybe it's not the changing definitions that have caused me so much heartache over the years. Maybe... it's the act of defining myself in the first place.

I'm a lot of things... a wife, a sister, a daughter, an employee, a volunteer, a friend, a maid, a cook, a blogger, a crackberry addict, a facebook junky, an Apple fanatic, an OCD party planner, a bi-polar, a Dansko clog lover, an insatiable seeker of knowledge, a democrat, a liberal, an agnostic, a Twi-hard, a collector of more bags and crafting supplies than my husband thinks one human could possibly need, among a thousand other things.

But when it really comes down to it needs to become...

Hi! I'm Bonnie and I simply AM.

No explanation necessary.