I'm really, really behind on my blogging. I've got about three in the works and ideas on a bunch more. So here we go.


About a month ago, me, Jay, and my middle brother Luke went to check out the new US Whitewater Center out near Gastonia. It was soooo beautiful. We didn't do any rafting, but just walked around and checked everything out and watched a bunch of other people try and navigate the whitewater.









We took advantage of the beautiful surroundings to take some pictures.










Then we asked Luke to take some of us. They came out so beautifully.















After all the walking and picture taking, we had dinner in the wonderful restaurant. We got to look out over the water and eat our healthy food. And it wasn't even that expensive!

So, we totally recommend checking out the US Whitewater Center if you're in the area. It only costs $5 to park and you can walk around for nothing. It's a great way to spend a weekend afternoon!

Well, it's over. Jay and I are officially married! Woohoo!!! The day went very well and the few hiccups that happened, had already been resolved by the time I found out about them. I guess the best place to start is at the beginning.

Wednesday is really when everything got started. Wednesday afternoon at about 2pm I got off work. I had a million errands to run and was able to accomplish everything I needed to do. The out of towner's bags got dropped off at the hotel. (Unfortunately, no pictures of them, but trust me they were totally cute. I had gotten khaki canvus bags and used iron on paper to put our monogram on the front.) I picked up all the drinks we needed at the grocery store (the adorable guy that checked me out commented on how someone must really like milk and soda). :-) After all the errands were done, I was even able to have dinner with Jay and our best man and take time to breath and prepare for everything to start. My three friends from California, Jennifer, Maria and Erin flew into town that night. Their flight was delayed in New York so it was 2am before the poor girls got to Charlotte. Thank goodness, I had been drinking a steady stream of Dr. Pepper. I picked them up at the airport and expected that they would want to go straight to sleep, but we ended up talking until almost 3:30 or 4am.

Thursday was wonderful. We had planned to take a trip up to Asheville, but with the girls getting in later than expected and having things that still needed to be picked up we ended up canceling our trip which was a wonderful idea. My friend Jessica met up with us that morning and we dropped off some stuff with our caterer and my wonderful friend, Darby. Then we headed to Harpers Restaurant for what I consider to be the best chicken tenders in the world!



During lunch we realized that there was going to be more rentals to be picked up then could be packed in one car since there were 5 of us in my car. After lunch we grabbed Jessica's car and headed to pick up the rentals. That was a wonderful experience as the folks at Party Reflections were wonderful and so helpful! After getting the rentals we grabbed the flowers that had been delivered to Jmom's house and headed back to put them in water. I cannot tell you how happy I was when I saw the flowers!



They even more beautiful then I had expected. I had really been worried about them since I'd never ordered from the places we got them from and I knew there wasn't going to be much we could do about it if they didn't turn out well. So, with the work behind us, we headed to the mall to get our nails done. That was a wonderful experience and something I am so thankful we took time out to do. Jessica got great pictures as we were getting our services done, and my brother, Luke, showed up about half way into them. We all laughed and joked as we relaxed and plotted as to where we were going to dinner.






We made a quick stop at JC Penny's before leaving. My brother, Luke, is rather small and his tux had fit except for the white shirt. I was surprised that the tux place had not had one to fit him, but we decided that having him in a shirt that was different but that fit would be better than having him in a matching shirt that made him look like he was five years old. Once that was accomplished, we headed to Cracker Barrel to get the California girls some authentic southern cooking! They of course loved it, even the fried okra. And my brother looked so cute pimping it with five gorgeous women! I wish I had a picture of that!

Up next... the Bachelorette Party!

Bachellorette Party

Once dinner was over, we headed to the apartment to freshen up for the bachelorette party. We were running late, but thankfully everyone else was too and we realized that nothing was going to be going on at 8:30pm in downtown which was our original arrival time. Our officiant's wife, and our friend Brandi, had already purchased me a Bachelorette Kit including a tiara, pageant style sash and shot glass that all proclaimed my status as a bachelorette. My friends from Cali has also brought a veil that had male organs attached to it, a pee-pee straw and pecker mints!




It was so much fun! One of the most fun things was the two of my three brothers, Levi and Luke, decided that they would go with us girls to the bachelorette party instead of hooking up with the guys for the bachelor party. It added so much fun to have the two guys as our escorts and it was awesome for me to be able to share such a fun night with them.

When we got downtown we started off at this awesome Irish pub called Ri-Ra's. It was so beautiful and I'm so looking forward to going back on another night with Jay.







Jennifer (our resident Irishwoman) even commented on how authentic it is to an actually Irish pub. There was a guy there playing guitar and a guy playing mandolin. It was so awesome. The atmosphere was great, the drinks were great and the music was great. Unfortunately, we had a couple of totally drunk preppy middle aged guys that kept giving us a hard time. They would take one of us aside and ask what was on my veil. When we explained it was a pee-pee, they said they knew that (then why did you ask, silly head!!!) and asked what the signifigence was. Um… hello! It's silly!!! We finally started telling them that it was a tradition within our circle of girlfriends. I think they were just seeing how many of us they could get to say "pee-pee". But whatever.

Eventually we got tired of dealing with them and moved onto this cigar bar called Madison's around the corner.



Unfortunately, that was the only disappointment of the night. The bar is kind of out of the way, there weren't a lot of people there and they ones that where kind of scared us all. I think as soon as Maria had walked into the bar, this slightly off cowboy had bought her a drink. But the experience was salvaged by my mom and Erin getting up on the outside bar (where no one was) and dancing!








The bouncer had to get them down since that outside bar wasn't stable enough for them to dance on. Unfortunately I was in the bathroom at this point, but there's plenty of photographic proof that it happened! Up until this point, I had been doing really well with the drinking. I had stuck to my jager bombs and was doing very well. But at coyote ugly this girl bought me a shot of Petrone! Not a good idea!!! I could literally feel it washing over me and knew I was going to regret it later.

Since Coyote Ugly was sucking, we decided to head back to Madison's which was the best decision we made all night (thanks Levi for the suggestion).







The ball games were over and it had almost completely cleared out. We were able to claim seats on the cushy couch and the boys got to play pool until they kicked us out at 2pm. On the way home some people decided they were hungry and mom decided to take everyone to stake in shake. When they were closed they started talking about going somewhere else. Levi kept piping up and saying that I needed to go home. My other friends were listening to my protests that I was ok, but Levi knew I was only trying to take care of everyone else and not ruin the fun. He insisted that the car we were in was going home. He was so wonderful and helped me get into the house and into bed. He wouldn't leave until mom got there with the other girls and he knew someone was going to be there with me.

Next up... Friday's activities.

Our 2 Year Anniversary

I know, I know, it's been a very long time since I blogged anything. Well, needless to say it's been a little busy lately. The wedding was wonderful (blog coming soon, I promise!), and life seems to have only gotten more busy since then if you can believe it. In the last 7 weeks, Jay and I have moved his mom and my mom, my middle brother has come into town at least 2-3 weekends, my oldest brother and mom came from Asheville, my good friend from Michigan came to visit for the weekend, and my best friend's husband left for a 15 month deployment in Iraq (which involved a quick trip to Fayetteville to be with her the first night). All that to say that it's been a little crazy. I've realized lately though that blogging was one of the main things that I did for myself while Jay was out to sea. Now that he's home, I need to take the time to do it more. And I guess that is the best segway into this blog.


Today is my and Jay's 2 year anniversary. Now I'll have to give you a little information because we have lots of anniversaries. We have one in December which is the anniversary of when we first met; we just celebrated 11 years this past December. We have one in January which celebrates our first kiss; we just had our 7th anniversary this past January. We have one in August which celebrates the first time we saw each other after 5 1/2 years (it's also the first time we... we'll you know); we'll be coming up on our 2nd year for this one. We have one in June that celebrates when we got engaged; that one will be the big *1* next month. And now we have our wedding anniversary in March of which we're about to celebrate a wonderful 2 months in a few days.


But I think today is one of my favorite anniversaries. Today is the 2nd anniversary of the first time I told Jay that I loved him. Truthfully, I had known for a while. I just didn't know if I had the strength to go through the divorce I knew was ahead of me. But today was the day I realized that the prospect of happiness with Jay would be better than the overwhelming sense of dissatisfaction I had been dealing with for the entire life of my marriage. So I sat down to write Jay an email. We had been corresponding since the Novemember prior and we had learned a lot about the people we had become over the 5 1/5 years we'd been apart. So, 2 years ago tonight, I wrote an email that ended with these few, but extremely powerful words.

"I love you Jeremy. I always have, and I always will."

Little did I know that those 11 words would change my life forever.

It hasn't been the easiest 2 years. In fact, some of the hardest moments of my life have been since I pushed "send" on that email. But saying it has been worth it would be the understatement of the century. Not only do I now have a life with my soul mate, but I am a completely different person. Over the last 2 years, I've realized that I am stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. I've survived a divorce, a 4 month separation from the love of my life imediately followed by an 8 month deployment which allowed us very little communication other than email (one time we went 9 weeks between phone calls), a trip across country by myself, two relocations and job searches, and three different apartments.

Through all of that I have become a person who when faced with a few week separation due to job training says (and truly means), "I'll miss you terribly!" And then starts planning all the stuff I'll be able to do with that time to myself. A woman who realizes that for a little girl who had no girlfriends growing up, I'm blessed with one of the most amazing and supportive networks of female friends. I'm learning more and more what it means to be "professional", and gaining an ability to put my personal feelings aside. I'm learning that critisim makes me better. And most of all, that I'm not perfect... and that's OK.

But above all, though... I've learned what it truly means to be "in love" with someone... So in love that you feel it in your entire body. So in love that they are constantly in your thoughts regardless of if they are 3 feet away or 3,000 miles away. So in love that you truly understand what Aristotle meant when he said, "Love consists of one soul inhabiting two bodies." So in love that without thinking you pick the thing you know they like instead of the one you like. So in love that without thinking they picks the thing you like instead of the one they like. And after being apart for a total of 6 1/2 years, knowing that at the end of the day, he'll be laying there with his arms open, ready for you to fall asleep on his shoulder, even if that means you drool all over it.

To the love of my life, my soul mate, my lover, my very best friend... happy anniversary. I'm so glad those 11 tiny words, changed my life!

Cheers to many more to come!

Love,

your adoring wife

The Ring Blog

I know I’m behind in my blogging, and I have a bunch floating around in my head. One of the most exciting things that is going on right now is we actually have wedding stuff that is starting to arrive. Things we’ve ordered or finally bought after looking at repeatedly. I’m planning on a blog specifically to chronicle all the fun stuff, but this one particular item was just so special that it deserved its own blog. “What could be so special?” you ask. A couple of weeks ago, Jeremy’s wedding band came in, and it is even more gorgeous than I had even imagined. Now, in order to fully understand why this was such a monumental occasion, I need to step back and start the story at the beginning.

Jay and I have been talking about getting married since not long after we got “together” in May of last year. So when we met up for the first time in 5 ½ years, last August, I brought a special ring with me. I’d ordered it from my favorite catalogue and felt it was perfect for our situation. It was a simple sterling silver band with the words “anam cara” engraved in the outside. “Anam cara” means soul friend or soul mate in Gaelic. I gave it to him to take on his cruise. I wanted him to know that even though he was going to be gone for a long time, that come hell or high water, I would be on that pier to greet him. He loved it and after spending more time with him and seeing the types of jewelry he wore, I knew I’d made the perfect choice.

Now fast forward to our engagement over 8 months later. The ring Jay gave me was literally the most beautiful ring I’d ever seen let alone owned. The shape, color and size are perfect for my hand and skin tone. I knew he’d had me and my preferences in mind when he picked it out and I knew he had spent many months researching and finding the perfect ring. So, the moment he slipped it on my finger, I knew I had my work cut out for me.

We had already made a few stops into jewelry stores to look around (this was during the few weeks between homecoming and our engagement where he was still trying to pretend that he didn’t know anything about a ring or an engagement, hehe). I could tell from the rings he was drawn to that I needed to find something very simple and masculine, yet elegant at the same time. He kept telling me that he wanted something similar to the one I’d already gotten him (which of course made me smile all over again, knowing that I had gotten him something he really liked and felt was true to his style). So, I got it into my head that with the Celtic themed wedding, his love for Irish culture and his enjoyment of the Gaelic ring he already had that I needed to get him a Celtic ring of some sort. And the search began. For weeks if not months, I waded through webpage after webpage of gaudy, two toned and even tri-colored bands with hideous raised braid work. No offense to anyone who loves these rings but I knew my stylish yet simply understated groom would never be comfortable in one.

So, on the verge of giving up the search, I decided to press on just a little longer and did what must have been my one millionth google search for “celtic wedding bands”. This time, out of shear randomness and a blessing from the google gods, I found a new website. The moment it started to load, I knew I’d found my source for his ring. On the front page there were at least 2 bands that I loved and new he would too. As I searched deeper in the list I found even more. I began sending him the jpgs to look at and I could tell even over email that he was very excited at the prospect of wearing one of these rings. The site had so many wonderful options, that it took him a few weeks to narrow down which one he wanted and in what color and finish. But soon after he zeroed in on the one he wanted and after a few days spent agonizing over the special inscription on the inside, I ordered the ring. The really nice thing (among many nice things) was that they offered engraving as a part of the ordering process, so when it came in I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. It would be ready to go.

Within a week or so, I got the email saying it had been shipped and my anxiety level began to rise. I knew that this was a very special gift, one of the most special I would ever give someone and I needed it to be perfect. I feared that since I’d ordered it off the internet that the quality wouldn’t be as good as it looked online and I even had dreams of it coming in with an incorrect inscription. The morning it was to be delivered, I talked with our reception at work and gave her a heads up. So, the moment it arrived she paged me, and I flew down the stairs. I tore into the package right then and there and literally held my breath as I took it out of his bag. …. It was perfect! The quality was even better than I had expected, the edges were rounded like a good men’s ring should be, the knot work engraved on the outside was perfect and the inscription on the inside was exactly what I had wanted. I could not have been happier, and instantly let out a huge sigh of relief!

When I got it home, he was just as impressed as I was and commented on how comfortable it was to wear. I’ve even caught him wearing it a few times, this after he’s yelled at me countless times for wearing my wedding band around the house. One time when he came home from an underway I heard him yell from the upstairs, “Some body’s in TROUBLE!” I instantly froze trying to figure out if he’d asked me to write any checks that I’d forgotten to write or what I had done. When I got up there he said, “If you’re going to wear your wedding band when I’m out of the house, at least put it back in it pseudo hiding place before I get HOME!” We both laughed and laughed and fell into each others arms in giggles.

So now comes the long wait. We have just over 4 months till the wedding (although in wedding terms that’s like a day and a half). We are both so excited to present our rings to the others as well as wear the ones intended for us (without getting yelled at! Hehe!). I knew buying his ring was going to be special for me, but I was still a little surprised at the depth of emotion that struck me when I looked at it for the first time. Jay is my soul mate, my best friend, my confidant, my protector, my love. And there’s nothing I want more than to be his wife. I knew that I would never find a ring that was as perfect as he is, but I knew I had to try. The moment I held his ring, I knew I had come as close to perfection as possible. On our wedding day, I’ll be able to stand there and present him with a ring that I put effort into finding and really represents the essence of who he is, the essence of all the things I love about him. I could never give him anything that even comes close to what he has given me. How do you pay someone back for their love, support, comfort and caring with a piece of jewelry. But if I could it would be with this ring!

Thanks for reading!

Jay's Got Duty... Time For a New Blog

I had one of the most amazing experiences of my life the other night. Jay and I went to see Nickleback in concert and while snuggled up under Jay's arm, I heard him sing for the first time. Now granted no matter how good of a singer you are no one sounds good when they are singing along at one of those outdoor concerts. The cigarette smoke coupled with all the screaming and woo-hoo'ing is not exactly the best for the vocal chords. However, even with all that, hearing Jay's voice rumble in his chest as he smiled and sang along was one of the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard and almost brought me to tears. On the surface this reactions seems kind of random, so I'll back up a little (well a lot) and see if I can fill you in.

I've known for a long time that I love family birthdays. It didn't matter if it were mine or one of my brother's, but I love gathering around the kitchen table with my pyro's for brothers lighting a million candles and singing Happy Birthday. It took me a long time to realize that it was hearing my dad sing that made these moments so special. Now my dad has one of the worst voices in the world and birthdays are about the only time you can get him to sing. I processed this a lot during high school and finally realized that it hearkened back to one of the last times in my life where I felt truly safe.

When I was really young my entire family was very religious. We were at the church every time the doors opened and as homeschooled kids we looked forward to snow on Sundays so we could stay home from church and play. What I remember distinctly, though, is being 5 or 6 and my dad holding me in his arms while he bounced me and sang during the worship time. I remember snuggling against his chest and hearing his rumbling voice mix with his strong heart beat. The feeling that elicited, a feeling of being truly safe and completely cared for was soon lost, but for a moment it was very real and firmly planted itself in my psyche.

What I have realized since then is that those feelings were in fact an illusion. I felt safe due to naivety and not reality. Just like teenagers have a sense of invincibility not because it is true but because they haven't seen the brutality that life can deal. It would be many years before I realized that the man who I had drawn such comfort from was actually emotionally and verbally abusive (and physically abusive to my brothers). That same man has now (due to an illness called bipolar disorder) rewritten history in his own head and truly believes himself to be the victim of a large conspiracy instead of the abuser of his family. This caused a secondary wound. The wound caused by not being able to acknowledge the wound of abuse.

So... how did a blog that started out about the most amazing moment of my life get so heavy and depressing? Because if you don't understand the difficult part then the good part isn't as meaningful.

So... fast forward again to the other night. During one of the slower songs, I found myself snuggled in against Jay's chest, and I realized that I could hear HIS voice mixing with HIS strong heart beat, and for the first time in over 20 years, I felt that same sense of safety I felt at age 5... except this time it was a reality. Jay would give his life for mine if needed (as I would for him) but way beyond that he shows his love in a million tiny ways. He shows it in the way he parks across at the next apartment building so that I can have the close parking spot; in the way he reminds me to bring a sweater to Cracker Barrel because he knows I always get cold; in the way he knows what day of the week my favorite restaurant serves the dish I love so much; in the way he can sense when I have the antys and need to get out of the house and when I want to just stay home; in the way he can sense when I'm fighting an anxiety episode and can give me the space and reasurance to overcome it; in the way he sprayed down my khaki's with stain remover after I got them all dirty on the family day cruise; in the way he intently listened to me whether I'm talking about something very important or completely trivial (note that this was one of the traits I feel so in love with over 10 years ago); and simply in general how we always wants me to have the best even if that means that he gets second best.

So, I guess, with my brothers spread out all over the Carolinas, that soon I'll be looking forward to gathering around my kitchen table and hearing Jay sing Happy Birthday to our children (who given our family backgrounds will most likely be pyro's too!) But at least I will know that just like I am, in his arms they will always be truly safe.

Thanks for reading, y'all!

bonnie

The Tux Blog

Well, wedding plans are in full swing at the Sluder-Schultz house. As Jay likes to say, "It's all wedding all the time!" But don't let him fool you, he loves it!

This week/weekend, I'm a lonely Navy fiance (hence the blog), but last weekend I had him all to myself! Among many wonderful things we got to do together, some of the time was spent at After Hours formal wear picking out tuxes for the wedding. I find it interesting that he's banned from seeing me in my wedding attire, but I have no such restriction. In fact not only did I get to go, but the store owner directed almost the entire conversation at me and gave me all the final paperwork. I guess it really IS all about the Bride! Hehe! :-)

When I grabbed my camera on the way out the door, Jay groaned and assured me that he would not be required nor able to try on the actual tux, just some standard jackets for sizing purposes. But in anticipation of this blog, I brought my camera anyway figuring I'd at least get some cool shots of the store and Jay talking with the store employees.

When we got there we spent some time looking around and talking about the wedding colors. Jay picked out a gorgeous long jacket that he really liked,



(The middle one.)

And a beautiful vest/tie combo that will look wonderful with out color scheme, and decided to put the guys in a black version of the same thing with Jay in the green so he stands out.



We introduced ourselves to the associate working in the store and told him we had an appointment to get registered for the wedding. It was such a thrill to say for the first time with confidence the date of our wedding! Then the associate started asking Jay about a million and one questions! 4 pleats for 6 on the shirts? Full collar or half pointy thingy? Square toe shoe or regular? Silver cuff links or gold? Good grief! Who knew renting a standard monkey suit required so many decisions! Hehe!

About the time the associate started measuring Jay, the store owner came out. When he saw me there snapping pictures of Jay in his t-shirt, he insisted that they could do much better than that. Within 5-10 minutes he had pulled the jacket, vest and tie off the mannequin and grabbed an extra shirt and pants out of the back. Within 15 minutes, Jay come out of the dressing room in full regalia! And OH DID HE LOOK HANDSOME! I've never actually seen Jay or any other guy I've ever dated in a full tuxedo. I was so impressed! Not that he doesn't normally look good, because he does, but oh man he looked so gorgeous! I was about to pop! I felt like a parent at the school play wanting to yell, "That's my baby! He's marrying ME!"

He stood there for a few minutes and let me oooh and aaah over him while taking pictures.




Note: we decided later to go with the striped green tie instead of the black one he's wearing in the pictures.

Then the store owner showed us all the ways the one measured for Jay would fit better, and then to my chagrin, Jay changed back into regular clothes.

They told us all the in's and out's that we and the groomsmen needed to know, and the we walked out hand in hand for the rest of our weekend together.

I'm constantly amazing at how quickly life can change. This time last year, I was making packing lists for my trip to see Jay after over 5 1/2 years. I was scared to death, knowing that I had just ended a difficult relationship and moved out on my own for the first time in my life, that there was the possibility that Jay and I would see each other and the chemistry wouldn't be there, that even if we did work out that I had an 8 month deployment and a cross country move ahead of me. I truthfully wasn't sure I had the strength! And this time two years ago, I was preparing to fly to North Carolina for a wedding of my sister-in-law who hated me along with her entire family, a husband who wouldn't take up for me, and a relationship I was slowly realizing might never work. The only thing I felt then was trapped.

So, as I walked out of the mall, holding the hand of my soul mate and best friend, I realized once again that sometimes the most wonderful times of your life only come about because of the hardest.

212 days to go! WooHoo!

Thanks for reading y'all,

Bonnie