I know, I know, it's been a very long time since I blogged anything. Well, needless to say it's been a little busy lately. The wedding was wonderful (blog coming soon, I promise!), and life seems to have only gotten more busy since then if you can believe it. In the last 7 weeks, Jay and I have moved his mom and my mom, my middle brother has come into town at least 2-3 weekends, my oldest brother and mom came from Asheville, my good friend from Michigan came to visit for the weekend, and my best friend's husband left for a 15 month deployment in Iraq (which involved a quick trip to Fayetteville to be with her the first night). All that to say that it's been a little crazy. I've realized lately though that blogging was one of the main things that I did for myself while Jay was out to sea. Now that he's home, I need to take the time to do it more. And I guess that is the best segway into this blog.
Today is my and Jay's 2 year anniversary. Now I'll have to give you a little information because we have lots of anniversaries. We have one in December which is the anniversary of when we first met; we just celebrated 11 years this past December. We have one in January which celebrates our first kiss; we just had our 7th anniversary this past January. We have one in August which celebrates the first time we saw each other after 5 1/2 years (it's also the first time we... we'll you know); we'll be coming up on our 2nd year for this one. We have one in June that celebrates when we got engaged; that one will be the big *1* next month. And now we have our wedding anniversary in March of which we're about to celebrate a wonderful 2 months in a few days.
But I think today is one of my favorite anniversaries. Today is the 2nd anniversary of the first time I told Jay that I loved him. Truthfully, I had known for a while. I just didn't know if I had the strength to go through the divorce I knew was ahead of me. But today was the day I realized that the prospect of happiness with Jay would be better than the overwhelming sense of dissatisfaction I had been dealing with for the entire life of my marriage. So I sat down to write Jay an email. We had been corresponding since the Novemember prior and we had learned a lot about the people we had become over the 5 1/5 years we'd been apart. So, 2 years ago tonight, I wrote an email that ended with these few, but extremely powerful words.
"I love you Jeremy. I always have, and I always will."
Little did I know that those 11 words would change my life forever.
It hasn't been the easiest 2 years. In fact, some of the hardest moments of my life have been since I pushed "send" on that email. But saying it has been worth it would be the understatement of the century. Not only do I now have a life with my soul mate, but I am a completely different person. Over the last 2 years, I've realized that I am stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. I've survived a divorce, a 4 month separation from the love of my life imediately followed by an 8 month deployment which allowed us very little communication other than email (one time we went 9 weeks between phone calls), a trip across country by myself, two relocations and job searches, and three different apartments.
Through all of that I have become a person who when faced with a few week separation due to job training says (and truly means), "I'll miss you terribly!" And then starts planning all the stuff I'll be able to do with that time to myself. A woman who realizes that for a little girl who had no girlfriends growing up, I'm blessed with one of the most amazing and supportive networks of female friends. I'm learning more and more what it means to be "professional", and gaining an ability to put my personal feelings aside. I'm learning that critisim makes me better. And most of all, that I'm not perfect... and that's OK.
But above all, though... I've learned what it truly means to be "in love" with someone... So in love that you feel it in your entire body. So in love that they are constantly in your thoughts regardless of if they are 3 feet away or 3,000 miles away. So in love that you truly understand what Aristotle meant when he said, "Love consists of one soul inhabiting two bodies." So in love that without thinking you pick the thing you know they like instead of the one you like. So in love that without thinking they picks the thing you like instead of the one they like. And after being apart for a total of 6 1/2 years, knowing that at the end of the day, he'll be laying there with his arms open, ready for you to fall asleep on his shoulder, even if that means you drool all over it.
To the love of my life, my soul mate, my lover, my very best friend... happy anniversary. I'm so glad those 11 tiny words, changed my life!
Cheers to many more to come!
your adoring wife