This is going to be two downer blogs in a row, so I'm sorry everyone. It's not been all hard. I guess I should have posted a blog last week letting everyone know that I was having a much better day. Just what I expected happened. Since I gave myself permission to be sad and lonely, I was able to move on and the next day was much better. I was back to just appreciating that he's in my life at all. But now...
It's been 2 1/2 days without any email. I got an email Friday afternoon and haven't heard anything since. My day revolves around his emails, so I've been feeling really lost without them. It's like they keep me grounded and focused. I feel like I breath easier once I've gotten it. Just to know that he's ok, and that he's thinking of me and loves me is all I need. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not upset with him in the least. I know him. I know he loves me more than anything else in the world. If there were any way that he could email me he would. So, either they are super, super busy or the internet is down. It's not too unusual for the internet to be down. I've actually been surprised how much it's been up the whole time they've been out. And I know that he's probably on that ship worrying about me worrying about him since he can't get word to me. He knows I worry. :-) But it's still hard. Like I said, I've just gotten so use to hearing from him.
I have to keep in mind how lucky we are to have email. Navy wives have been doing this for years with nothing but snail mail. That reminds me, I have to get a note in the mail to him today. I've been trying to put hand written notes in the mail every 1-3 days. So that when times like this happen and the internet goes down, hopefully, he'll get one of my notes. They are usually just useless jibber jabber but that's the stuff that I miss hearing from him so much. I miss hearing about his day and his guys and the funny or annoying things that happened... really sharing each other's lives.
I just miss him so bad...
My heart just aches sometimes...
*sigh*
Oh my god!!! It just came in. The indicator from my yahoo mail just popped up to let me know an email from him has come in. I feel like I just took a deep breath for the first time all weekend. Thanks for reading, y'all, and for letting me vent. It helps me so much to be able to express all this stuff.
Well, I'm going to go read his email for like the 4th time in about the last 5 minutes! Yeah!!!!
:-)
bonnie
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