Weekend Happenings

This weekend was a wonderful mix of work and play, toil and tumble.  We started out fairly bright and early at the Festival in the Park, an art/craft/music festival which is a staple in our town.  After skipping it for a few years due to the crowds and the heat we decided to try it early in the morning and that seemed to be the key.  We got there at 10am, right as the festival was opening.  It was cool, it wasn't too horribly crowded and we were able to find street parking not far from the park and avoid the highway robbery everyone was charging.

They had easels set up for the kids to color on, but no matter how I held the paper, she was way more interested in coloring on the easels themselves.  Yep, that's my kid!  The rest of Saturday was spent lounging around the house, catching up on TV shows and watching movies with Turtle.

Sunday morning Turtle and I made our weekly grocery store trip.  I love grocery shopping once I learned that there are very few people at the store at 9am on a Sunday morning.  I like to take Turtle with me so that Daddy has an hour or so to sleep or just hang out by himself.

When I got back, we put on a movie for Turtle and Daddy Turtle and I cleaned up the kitchen and cooked brunch.  Scrambled eggs with cheese, sausage links and french toasts.

After brunch (which was more like lunch), we put Turtle down for a nap and crossed our fingers.  I'm hosting a babywearing meet up at my house next Saturday.  Well, the carpet in our living room was in desperate need of being cleaned.  Our hope was to get it done while Turtle was sleeping but this was the first time we had every tried to coordinate something during her nap time.  (She is terrified of the vacuum cleaner so we knew we couldn't do it while she was awake.)

 We moved everything into the kitchen and amazingly got the entire floor vacuumed and steam cleaned before she woke  up.  We knew keeping an active toddler off the carpet would be too much to ask and given the gloriousness of the weather yesterday, I met Grandma at the park with Turtle and Daddy stayed home to monitor the carpet and move everything back.

Turtle discovered the swinging bridge and was in hog heaven.  It was hilarious to watch her treat it like a set of stairs, going down backwards, standing up to walk the middle and then getting down on her knees to crawl up the other side.  I stood there and watched her go back and forth for probably 15 minutes. Soon there after we got a text from Daddy saying we could come home.

But before we headed into the house for good we broke out the sidewalk chalk to see what Turtle thought.  As she is with everything Mama thinks is going to be awesome, Turtle was underwhelmed.  I did get this awesome shot right though before she bit it on the sidewalk and we had to go inside to attend to a very broken finger nail.  

I'm so thankful for the cooler weather.  I feel like we have been sequestered inside for months now.  I'm definitely ready to get back outside!

How was everyone's weekend?

Changes... They is Happening

Wow!  It's amazing to me that it's been almost a year since I blogged regularly... a year of challenges and learning to accept limitation.  In August of last year, Daddy Turtle started back to school.  So, not only did he work during the day, but he would then go straight to school.  Four nights a week it would be 11pm or later before he got home.  That was challenging.

I still wonder how we survived those early days.  Turtle was so small and often times didn't want to be put down, so I would wear her most evenings in order to even get our stuff carried in from the car.  I lost count of how many bowls of cereal I ate standing up and bouncing her. 

It seems like a million miles away.

Now, a year later we still have the same schedule, but life is so completely different.  For one, I've learned that I cannot do it all. 

It wasn't easy!

Mama Turtle is my name, over-achieving is my game!  And it almost killed me! 

But slowly and steadily Turtle became more independent, even sleeping in her own room!  The new-found space allowed me to think, and I had a revelation... a revelation of precisely how many hours we as a family have together in a week.  And that number was scary small!  So, I decided that I needed to focus on what made us all happy.  No more wasting time on obligatory non-sense.  No more worrying about the tidiness of a house we hardly spend any time in.  This is our family and our family time and I have a right to guard it! 

This doesn't mean that we don't spend time apart.  I just took over leadership of the local babywearing group and I'm becoming more involved in other groups and activities that make me happy and bring me joy.  Daddy Turtle loves his monthly Cars and Coffee car meets.  But I look at everything differently.  I evaluate my commitments differently.  Time is a finite resource in our family.  So, my questions are always, "Is this a good use of our time?  Do we have the time and energy to participate in this activity?  How will this activity impact each family member? Have we planned adequate time to rest and recharge?"  Doesn't mean we always get it right.  Some weeks we do better than others.  But the shift in perspective has helped me see that often times, when our family gets crabby and unhappy, it's because we are being haphazard with our time.

I won't say that I'm going to start updating this blog on any regular schedule (although I hope to), but I will say that it's good to be back. :-)

And because I hate wall 'o text, picture-less posts, here are some of my recent Instagram pics to hold you over.

Planning her escape from the park.

Brushing teeth with Daddy.

Fun in the French Broad River.

Snuggles at the pediatricians office.

Happy Friday everyone!

Babywearing: The Gear

A couple day months ago ago (YIKES!), I talked about the what and why of babywearing for our family.  In a nutshell, we love it! Today I'm going to talk about different types of carriers and what my experience with each has been.  A word of caution: babywearing is addictive.  There's a reason we call it our "stash". 


1) Stretchy Wrap (Similar to a Moby)

The wrap I have was made by a WAHM (work at home mama) who is no longer in business, so although I love mine, I cannot link you to it.  Basically, they are a very long piece of stretchy material that you wrap in different ways to create the carrier. It can have a learning curve and some folks never get the hang of the wrapping part but after a few YouTube videos and some practice I found it to be a breeze.  The most popular of these types of wraps is the Moby which is sold at most of the major baby retailers.  There is also one called the Baby K'Tan which I've heard great things about too. The K'Tan is sewn so that it doesn't have to be wrapped as extensively.  There are also lots of tutorials out there for making your own.  I will say that my friend had one made and the material she chose was a lot looser than mine meaning it wasn't as supportive.  So keep that in mind when looking for material.

Advantages: This type of wrap is perfect for those little squishy babies.  It snuggles them into your chest and is a perfect place/position to sleep in. I would wrap the fabric before I left the house so all I had to do was pop her in and out at each stop.  Finally, carrying Turtle so close to me detered random people from wanting to touch her.  Major score during cold and flu season!

Disadvantages: Turtle was a winter baby, so it wasn't a big deal for us, but I've heard that these types of wraps, especially the Moby brand can be very warm in hot weather.  These carriers are NOT sutable for back carries, because of the stretch in the material.  Finally, because of the length of the fabric, it can be a challenge to wrap it on the go without it dangling in a dirty parking lot.  Again, though, I just wrapped it before I left the house and wore it all day long.

Bottom Line: This is my absolute favorite type of carrier for little squishy babies.


2) Woven Wraps

A woven wrap is a long piece of material that is wrapped in different ways to create different carries.  Unlike the Moby style, they are not stretchy allowing for back carries.  In an effort to save money, I attempted to make my own which might account for my lack of mastery of this type of carrier.  Or it could be that I was trying to learn to do back carries with a very wiggly 3 month old who just.wouldn't.stay.still! I think given a little more time, a little more pratice, and maybe some help from someone who had done it before, I could have really liked this type of carrier.

Advantages: Front carries, hip carries, back carries the options are endless with this type of wrap.  It can be used with tiny squishies up to toddlers. 

Disadvantages:  The wrapping can be intimidating, although there are many, many YouTube videos out there to help.  I wish I'd know about our local babywearing group.  I might have found someone who could have helped me figure it out.

Bottom line: If you can overcome the intimidation factor and master the wrapping, this type of carrier is fantastic and can last you a long, long time. 

3) Slings

I've had three slings over the time I've been babywearing.  I started out with a Seven Sling brand that a friend gave me as a shower gift.  It was beautiful, and I am so glad she gave it to me.  I wasn't planning on getting a sling but I was so glad I had it when Turtle decided she was done facing towards me in the stretchy wrap.  The sling allowed her to sit up and look out at the world and I will admit I used it in a hip carry before she could really sit up on her own.  I just cradled her in my arm.  I would also fold her legs up and face her outwards.  It was invaluable when I went for my cousin's wedding! (photo on the far left)  Turtle was sitting up nicely, so I was able to pop her on my back and take pics of my cousin getting ready.  But I noticed that over time, Turtle's legs would turn red.  It was like the sling was cutting off circulation to her legs.  So, I started looking for something else.

I ran across a Munckin brand sized sling at a consignment store in our area and scooped it up.  It had padding around the leg area and is actually my favorite.  The only thing I didn't like about it was that the print was kind of boring, and at that time I thought that mattered.

So, when Peanut Shell adjustable slings came up on my favorite discount site Zulily, I decided it was the perfect birthday present.  I thought the Peanut Shell sling would be prefect because it was adjustable, allowing Daddy Turtle and I to both potentially wear it.  The problem is that the buckle that allows it to adjust hits right on my shoulder or shoulder blade and I never felt it was especially comfortable.  Additionally, since it was adjustable, you couldn't fold it over to tighen up the top "rail" (the term for the differnt edges of the fabric used in baby wearing).  This made it hard to do back carries which are my favorite.

Just a few weeks ago, I was able to score a Maya Ring Sling at a consignment sale.  I haven't used it much and don't have any pics yet, but I'm really enjoying it and really wish I'd had one during that "doesn't like being carried face in but too small for a back carry in a soft structured carrier" phase.

Finally, although I never owned one, my good friend has a Balboa Baby Sling that I've used before.  It is a very nice sling made from sturdy fabric in beautiful prints.  The thing I didn't like was that both "rails" (the long sides of the sling) were elastic.  This makes it easy to get baby in and out of the sling and is comfortable on the baby's legs, but means that you cannot do back carries with it and you have to be very careful if you have an archer or a jumper like Turtle.  They can buck right out of it, if you don't watch them.

Advantages:  Can be used from infancy through toddlerhood.  No extensive wrapping required and the learning curve is pretty much non-existent.  Slings are easily portable so they are great for quick trips and for keeping in the diaper bag as a back up.

Disadvantages:  The one shoulder design can become uncomfortable after a while and once the baby gets to be heavier.  I find slings to be uncomfortable for long outings or those involving lots of walking.  Sized slings cannot be used by two people of varying sizes.  Not always completely hands free.

Bottom Line:  This is my favorite carrier for quick trips and for stashing in the diaper bag as a back up.

4) Soft Structured Carriers

 
This is our work horse.  After borrowing a couple carriers from our local babywearing group, I decided to invest in a Boba 2G.  Why did I chose it? Personal preference.  It seemed to fit me the best.  It could be passed between myself and Daddy Turtle without a belt extender and truth be told, it was the first SSC I tried and it was the one I was use to.

When Daddy Turtle went back to school it left Turtle and I on our own in the evenings.  Turtle wasn't one for playing by herself around that time and would scream if I set her down, so I have no idea how I would have gotten anything done without this carrier.  I would put her in it in the mornings to load up the car and put her in it again in the evenings to unload.  I cleaned with her in it, made bottles, did laundry, and even crafted.  It's been to everything from the renaissance festival to the farmers market and the grocery store.  I wear her mostly on my back unless she is really tired and then I'll switch her to the front.  Given her weight though, I find it hard to carry her on my front for very long.  Even if we are using our stroller, this carrier is always close by.

Advantages:  Easy to use.  Quick to put on.  Daddy approved.  Very comfortable for long days.  Truly hands free.

Disadvantages:  Carriers are bulky so not something you can pack in a diaper bag.  Finding the perfect fit is a process with all the buckles and straps.  Switching from one user to another is like having your drivers seat settings changed.

Bottom Line:  This is my favorite all around carrier.

5) Mei Tei

I don't have much experience with the Mei Tei's, but I'm still going to include it because it's a great carrier.  Mei Tei's are a hybrid between a wrap and a soft structured carrier.  A friend gave me one a few months ago and I especially like it for front carries.  As I said before due to Turtle's weight, I have a hard time carrying her in a front carry for very long.  But with the mei tei, I'm able to pull her in closer to my body making her weight easier to manager. Since you can do a high back carry with a pre-sitting infant, I think I would have greatly benefitted from having one around the time Turtle decided she didn't like the stretchy wrap.

Advantages:  The straps allow for easy adjustability especially between different wearers. Allows for lots of different carries including a high back carry.  Usually cheaper than soft structured carriers.

Disadvantages:  Requires more "wrapping" than the soft structured carries which can be intimidating.  More involved to put on.

Bottom Line:  An excellent carrier option which I look forward to gathering more experience with.







So, after only 4 months in my drafts folder, this post is finally finished!!! What are your favorite wraps/carriers and why?  Want to learn more?  Local to the Charlotte Area? Join the Charlotte Babywearers Group and attend a meeting.  We'd love to see you!

Babywearing: What and Why

I realized the other day that even though I've talked a lot about babywearing and the gear I use, I've never dedicated a whole post to the topic. So, today... ta-da! Babywearing!


If nothing else, motherhood has challenged my sense of control. So many things have not worked out the way I anticipated... not that that's necessarily a bad thing. Babywearing has been the one major exception. When I was pregnant I dreamed of being able to carry my baby as much and for as long as possible. I imagined the bonding it would give us and the convenience it would allow. I have not been disappointed! I loath being told and refuse to tell others what they "should" do, but I do love to share our experiences!

First a little bit about babywearing. Like everything, it has its fundamentalists. Those who believe that strollers, swings, bouncy seats, and infant car seat carriers are evil. Those who believe that parents that use these tools are lazy and uncaring. I AM NOT ONE OF THESE. Babywearing has been an enjoyable experience for myself, Turtle and Daddy Turtle and has even saved our sanity at times. I believe the principles and gear are things new parents should be aware of so that they can know what their options are. I feel for the brand new mama in the mall, carrying a fussy newborn in her arms while trying to push an empty stroller. I wonder if she knows about all the options that are available to her. Today I'm going to start out telling you a little about babywearing (as I see it) and what my experience has been, and then I'll tell you a little bit about the different types of carriers and what has worked for us in the next post. Disclaimer: This is nothing more than OUR experience. Hopefully, it will be helpful to someone somewhere, but there is no judgement implied for any parent who does things differently than we do!

For a thorough overview of babywearing, you can see this Wikipedia article. In a nutshell, babywearing is as old as human kind. As a central part of the Attachment Parenting model of child rearing, it has experienced a resurgence in popularity, but it's far from a new thing. Whether doing domestic tasks or gathering nuts and berries, parents have had to juggle child rearing with performing their daily tasks. Babywearing was born out of necessity and is seen in many indigenous societies even today. It is also purported to have bonding benefits as well as calming benefits for the baby. I believe these to be true, but only on a baby to baby case. Some babies want to be held and rocked, some need their alone time. Even Turtle got touched out sometimes and just needed her space. On the other hand, though, in our modern world of baby gear for every situation, it can be easy for a baby to be placed in a infant car seat in the morning, remain in the car seat while running errands or shopping, remain in the car seat during a lunch out, then having fallen asleep in the car seat be placed directly in a swing and gone a majority of the day without being held. This is an extreme case of course but you can see the potential problem.

We actually opted to not purchase an infant car seat because I was so committed to babywearing. I wouldn't go that far if I had it to do over again (those seats are so much easier and more convenient during those early weeks when they are so floppy) but I really loved carrying her. Turtle has always been a snugly little one so babywearing was a perfect fit. In fact during the height of her colicky days, when I had reached the end of my rope, I could always take her to a mall, pop her in a carrier, and walk around for as long as I wanted. As soon as she was in the carrier, she would fall asleep! It was magical. Then after Daddy Turtle started going to school 4 nights a week, my soft structured carrier was the only way I got all our stuff carried in the house or anything done in the evening.

We do have a stroller which I love and Turtle loves to ride in it as well. We have also been using grocery carts since she was able to sit up, but babywearing has always been a part of our routine, and I don't see that changing any time soon. There are plenty of times were a stroller is more of a hassle than a help. Crowded festivals for instance. Daddy Turtle and I love the freedom of being able to strap her to one of our backs, the other carries the diaper bag and we are off stroller free. We also use it a lot when running quick errands where getting a stroller in and out of the trunk would be a hassle.

You know I'm a gear junky so I'm sure you're asking the question, "What do you have in your stash?"  I'll tell you about that tomorrow. Have a great week everyone!

Working With Whatcha Got

For months now I've been looking for ways to organize our life.  Before our life got so crazy (i.e. both parents working 40+ hours a week away from home, daddy in school 4 nights a week, 4 day a week single-motherhood, etc. etc. etc.) I could deal with the disorganization.  I had time to muddle through the morning looking for my keys or searching for that one pair of jeans that make my thighs look skinny.  Then everything changed, and after spending weeks and months underwater, I finally realized that one of the main problems was a lack of organization. 

One of the things I hated was that everything and its brother ended up on my dinning room table.  My purse, Turtle's diaper bag, the mail, shopping bags, the PJ's Turtle wore to grandma's that morning (or god knows which morning), no less than four pairs of shoes of all sizes, and during the winter at least three jackets and/or cardigans. 

Exhibit 1

Exhibit 2

This began to grate on my nerves.  Especially on the weekend when I'd have to push everything off in order to have a simple family meal and made it hard to pack the diaper bag in the mornings without fighting with half of my house.  For a long time, I've loved the look of a beautiful Pottery Barn style "mud room". I've dreamed of having an entry way were shoes, bags, mail, etc. could be dropped and one could shake off the outside world before entering into the sanctuary of our home.  Unfortunately, when you are moving from an 800 sq. ft. apartment, every house looks big and I neglected to hold out for my mud room. 

But I was determined not to let reality get in my way.  So, I started looking around my house to figure out how I could work with what I had.  My first thought was to move the dinning table into the "formal dinning room" off the kitchen (which had since been used as my craft room) and make the little dining nook into the mud room.  But with more thought, and input from Daddy Turtle (who's exact words were, "isn't that going to look weird?!?!") I decided that might not be the best idea.  Then I thought about using the formal dining room where my crafts were, but that seemed to out of the way of the flow of traffic.  Plus it's carpeted and if you're going to have a place to kick off your shoes it seems better to do it BEFORE not ON the carpet.

Then one day out of the blue, I saw it... this tiny unused doorway between our kitchen and our formal dining room.  It's right near the side door where we enter through and wasn't being used for anything other than the trash can.  In fact it had been blocked off with a baby gate for months and no one had even noticed the loss of that doorway. 

So, I started sifting through the images I had collecting on my Pinterest boards of beautiful "mud rooms".  I knew I wanted somewhere to sit and take shoes off/put shoes on, a bin of some kind to wrangle shoes because it's delusional to even think they would get placed neatly on a shoe shelf in my house; a shelf of some kind to put baskets or boxes filled with hats, gloves and scarves; and hooks to hang things like purses, keys, and the random baby carrier.  Something like this.  Only in a space approximately 34" wide and on a shoe string budget.

Then, one day while window shopping at IKEA with my friend, I found it.

$20 baby! Booyaa! And this past weekend, Daddy Turtle hung it for me.

I told him I "probably" wouldn't post this picture, so shhhhh! But how cute is that?! I couldn't NOT post it. Turtle wanted to be right by his side the whole time (i.e. under his feet).

Once the self was up, I started moving things around... an ottoman we were using as a baby gate in the living room became my bench, and a fabric bin I had in the other room became our shoe wrangler.

The next day I added a little piece of art my bestie gave us as a house warming gift and some boxes for the top.

There's still a few other things I'd like to do to the area like getting a smaller bench to make it feel less bulky and I have a couple sturdier hooks I want to mount so that the diaper bag can be hung up as well, but for $20 and a vision, I think it's not too bad. And it really does make things easier to organize, and on a busy, hectic, pre-caffeine morning, that can make the difference between retaining my sanity and losing it!

Have you had an "work with whatcha got" projects lately?

Changes

As you can tell from my lack of blog posts over the last 6 months or so, there has been a whole lot of surviving around our house and not much thriving.  For a long time there I felt like I would take a deep breath on Sunday night and not exhale until sometimes Friday evening.  Gradually, though, over the last few weeks, I've noticed something changing. Like surfing, I feel that I've finally caught the wave of our current life.  And to follow the surfing metaphor one step further, I've learned that the harder I try to control and direct our lives, the more frustrated I get.

For a long time, I found myself catching the rhythm of our life for a day or two and then it would change, and I would spend the next two weeks trying to force the new rhythm to sound like the old one before finally giving in, just in time for the rhythm to change again and the cycle would repeat. Slowly, I began to see that this desire to control things was what was tripping me up the most. For a while, the word I would use was "surrender".  I was learning to surrender to what was instead of try to make it be something it wasn't. But I struggled with the negative side of the word. Sometimes I felt like I was giving up, sacrificing what I wanted and needed for what was. Like a losing army, I felt like I was surrendering to defeat.

But something happened a couple of weeks ago. I decided to plant some flowers around our mail box.  I know, you weren't expecting that were you?!?! One of the things that causes me stress is our front yard. It's gone from not-all-that-great when we first moved in to omg-do-they-own-a-rake? (Why does it bother me? Because I worry about what other people in our neighborhood think. But that's a discussion for another self-reflective blog post.) So, one day I decided that I was going to take advantage of the beautiful weather we are having and the fact that Turtle loves to be outside and make things happen! And what do you know, with a trip to Home Depot and some help from grandma (gardening advice and babysitting) I got this...

Is it perfect? Absolutely not! Is there a ton of dead grass behind it that seriously needs to be replanted? Yep.  But you know what, it's a step in the right direction, and crazy schedule or not, that's the only way things happen. If I spend all my time being overwhelmed then nothing gets done. So, instead of feeling like I'm surrendering to defeat, I feel like I'm riding a powerful wave. Instead of sitting out at sea getting pummeled by every wave that comes by, struggling to stay afloat, I can catch it and let it propel me. Just like some rides are better than others, some days/weeks are better than others. But that's ok.

And you know what I've discovered, I like working outside.  Which my mom found not surprising at all seeing that her mom, my grandmother, loathed cleaning the house but could spend days outside weeding and planting and tending to her plants.  I guess it runs in the family. So, now I have a list of things that I want to accomplish outside. One project at a time.  One day at a time. One wave at a time.

p.s. One of my favorite blogs Young House Love really deserves some recognition here.  Their recent posts about their landscaping efforts have really inspired me. I encourage everyone to check out their blog!

Toddle Along Tuesday

I'm doing something different today and linking for Toddle Along Tuesdays hosted by Growing Up Geeky and Love, Lattes and Lullabies.  I came across both of these mommies on the bump message boards, but have never linked up before.  This week though, the theme was A Day in the Life.  I did a post on this back in October and it's one of my favorite posts.  Although it's quite a few months old, I'm surprised by how similar our life still is.  Thankfully, Turtle is now less klingy so I don't have to wear her as much, but other than that, the routine is pretty much the same.  So, without further ado, here is the original post.  Maybe soon I'll do an update.

A Day in the Life of a Working Turtle Mama

What about you? What's you day like?