Week 31

I've officially run out of cute, clever blog titles. Having the same fruit for the entire month kind of makes it difficult. But.. anyway...

Here we are. Another week, another squash. I simply cannot believe that we only have 9ish weeks to go. Baby Lily should be about 16.25 inches this week, which is about the size of 4 navel oranges and weight about 3.3 lbs. I remember getting excited when I could say she was in the 1/2 lbs range instead of just oz's. And now she's multiple pounds. I'm a little concerned that I seem to have only gained about 12 lbs over all and haven't noticed any weight gain in the last couple of weeks. I'm going to talk with my midwife about it next week. I just take comfort in the fact that my body will give Lily what she needs first and leave me with the rest. Most likely it's just because I was over weight to start with and my body is burning some of the excess fat. Plus I haven't had much of an appetite lately, but I'll get to that in a little bit.

How's Ms. Lily doing in there?

"This week your baby is gaining more and more weight as baby fat is filling in underneath the skin.  Your baby's color is also becoming less red and more pink in color.  By now, your baby's irises can dilate and respond to changes in light."

It is just amazing to think that a real live baby is growing in my tummy! Well... amazing and kind of freaky weird! Her movement is continuing to change. It's gone from punches and pokes to now it feels more like movement. Like I feel her arm brush against my tummy... or maybe that's a leg.

How's Momma doing?

I'm hanging in there. The holiday season is proving to be a challenge for me. There is more to do, less time to rest, and the pressure of knowing she'll be here in a couple short months is getting crazy! I'm holding off until after Christmas and possibly after the New Year to really start on her nursery, but I'm really starting to feel the pressure. Plus this is the first holiday season that I've been unmedicated in probably 6-7 years. I'll admit, it's a challenge. Trying to coordinate family, plan meals, clean houses, buy and wrap presents has been a little more than I can handle. I'm sad to say that I am woefully behind and some of my presents don't even have ribbon on them (GASP!). I know!! It's unheard of in the Stafford household. Sometimes I feel like a failure, like I'm weak and have let this pregnancy get to me. I have friends on line and in real life who are still making all their normal holiday goodies, and don't seem to be missing a beat. I try to remind myself that I face a special challenge and my focus has got to be staying calm and giving Lily the best gestational period I can. I truly believe that being unmedicated is the best thing for her right now and if that means my presents don't look like they have in years past, or we have shepherds pie for Christmas Eve dinner instead of the full spread of turkey and dressing, etc. then that's ok.

This past weekend we went to the mountains to see my cousin and her handsome new son! It was so much fun and I so enjoyed getting to practice a little, although he's quite advanced for a 2 month old. He was baby Jesus in the Christmas play at their church that we went to and did such a great job. Grandma feel in love with little Dallas, and now has baby fever and is counting down the days until Lily gets here. I on the other hand was a little overwhelmed. But it's ok. I know when it's my turn I'll be ready. I'm just still good with her cooking a little while longer. And I think that might be my last out-of-town trip until Lily gets here. I was so glad we went and so glad we got to see my cousin and Dallas, but it was really tiring and with Christmas being this week there won't be a whole lot of time to rest up. Oh well. I'll catch up eventually.

The indigestion/acid reflux is getting a little crazy too! All I have to do is look at food and my tummy gets upset. Right now I'm living on TUMS, peppermints (which work remarkably well), and ice water most of the day. I find myself avoiding food, which I need to stop doing. But at least I'm learning to eat less at each sitting. Unfortunately, I'm not adding much in between meals. The thought of food usually sends me reaching for my peppermints. I'm just hoping my teeth survive since most of the mints that really work are the sugar filled kind. Oh well. Sometimes you just have to make the best choices you can.

How's Daddy doing?

He's great as usual, really enjoying feeling her moving around in there. Not much else to report on that front.

Unfortunately, I am again late on getting this update finished and posted and once again I did not get a weekly bump picture taken. :-( Nothing to do about it now, so we'll just pick up from here and see what we can do this weekend. It is pretty amazing how differently you feel from the end of the 2nd trimester to the 3rd. We are on the home stretch now, though. Hopefully, I'll do better with this weeks update and I'm going to do everything I can to get a bump picture this weekend.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Holiday weekend and even though it's late... here's our 2010 Holiday Card. Happy Holidays everyone!!

3/4ths of the Way There?? Really??? (Week 30)

Well, once again, I'm a week late. The Holiday season is really kicking my butt this year. But Christmas is almost over and truthfully, I'm counting down the days until things calm down and get back to their normal pace.

I simply cannot believe that we are 3/4ths of the way through this pregnancy! Seems like just yesterday we were at 10 weeks and I was marveling at being 1/4th of the way though. We have a midwife appointment tomorrow and then we'll have them every 2 weeks after that until the last month or so then it'll be every week.

So, what's Ms. Lily up to in there?

"Your baby's about 15.7 inches long now, and she weighs almost 3 pounds (like a head of cabbage). A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds her, but that volume will decrease as she gets bigger and takes up more room in your uterus. Her eyesight continues to develop, though it's not very keen; even after she's born, she'll keep her eyes closed for a good part of the day. When she does open them, she'll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision — which means she can only make out objects a few inches from her face. (Normal adult vision is 20/20.)"

Wow! So the baby and I see about the same without my glasses! Hehe. I know her pain. And if genetics is any indication she'll need glasses sooner then we think. Oh well, here's to hoping not.

And at about 16 inches long, the dad-centric pregnancy site, His Boys Can Swim says Lily is about the size of the large wheel in the old school Big Wheels.

Wow! No wonder I feel like a rolly polly!

Speaking of me... how's Mommy?

I'm good! Definitely noticing her bigger size. For most of the day I have what I'm sure are adorable little tiny baby feet kicking into my right rib cage. The past weekend was kind of crazy! Saturday morning I went with my mom to see my Childhood BFF's daughter in a production of the Nutcracker ballet. It was so much fun! This is the second year I've gone and it is so nice to watch her daughter grow over the year. After the show the star herself was able to go to lunch with me, my mom and her mom (my BFF). It was fun visiting and getting to hear all the backstage gossip.

So, I came home and took a nap and then got freshened up and went to my office Christmas party with Jay. Amazingly that was quite fun and not as torturous as I was expecting. We had a great group of folks at our table and it's always nice to meet the significant other's of the folks you work with. And I know my project managers and co-workers enjoyed getting to meet Jay as well. It was especially nice that one of my co-workers' husband is also in the sound business so he and Jay had quite a bit to talk about. It's amazing how small the sound engineering world is in Charlotte and how many shared acquaintances they had.

Sunday, I forced Jay to go out Christmas shopping with me and then we crashed out hard on the couch for the rest of the day. Christmas is really sneaking up on me this year! I'm never this late getting my gifts and usually have everything wrapped and under the tree by this point in the game. Oh well. Acknowledging limitations is healthy right?

How's Daddy doing?

Jay's wonderful! He is really picking up the slack around the house. I'm really starting to feel the aches and pains so I spend less time on my feet in the evenings when I get home. He is really good about making dinner, ordering in, or going to pick us something up when I'm not feeling up to it.

I think that's about it for this week. They are all starting to run together on me now. It's amazing how far we've come and how short a time we have until Lily gets here. Have a wonderful week everyone!

Week 29 Belly Pic

Well sort of...

The weekend was so crazy busy that I totally spaced on taking a weekly belly picture. But to hopefully fill in the gap until next week, here is the picture my Childhood BFF's daughter took on Saturday.

That's me, my Childhood BFF and my mom. Mom and I had been out that morning to see the Union County Youth Ballet's performance of the Nutcracker which my BFF's daughter was in. Ms. Mckenna did a fabulous job and we enjoyed the production greatly!

Here's a shot of the little ballerina herself with her mom and my mom. I'm sure a few years down the road we'll all be at Lily's performances, or sports games, or whatever it is she's involved with, too.

That's Supposed to be a Squash? Really? (Week 29)

Well, we finally get a new food this week! I don't know about you, but I was getting tired of looking at that same eggplant. I'm sure I'll feel the same thing about this... well, they say it's a squash but it's the funniest looking squash I've ever seen. I guess I'm not very well versed in my squashes. Oh well. It's a little scary to think that there are only two more after this one! I can't believe that we are 29 weeks and only have 11ish to go.

So, what's Ms. Lily doing in there?

"Your baby now weighs about 2 1/2 pounds (like a butternut squash) and is a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel. Her muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and her head is growing bigger to make room for her developing brain. To meet her increasing nutritional demands, you'll need plenty of protein, vitamins C, folic acid, and iron. And because her bones are soaking up lots of calcium, be sure to drink your milk (or find another good source of calcium, such as cheese, yogurt, or enriched orange juice). This trimester, about 250 milligrams of calcium are deposited in your baby's hardening skeleton each day."

So, I guess I'll be upping my intake of milk over the next few days. Another update I get says that Lily should be settling into more consistent sleep-wake cycles which is very true. I feel her in the morning for a few minutes when I'm lying in bed... truthfully, when I'm trying to deny the fact that I have to get up and go to work. Then I feel her again sometimes mid morning around like 9 or 10. Then for a little while after lunch around 1 or 2 and then I feel her a lot when I lay down to go to sleep. This schedule seems pretty normal from what I've read since babies tend to be most active after mammas have eaten a meal or are resting. When I'm active and walking around I'm basically rocking her to sleep. When I'm still is when she wakes up. She really likes to wake up and bounce around when I'm trying to practice my Hypnobabies hypnosis, but I guess it gives me good practice learning to tune out the sensation in prep for the whole labor and delivery.

How's Mama doing?

I'm pretty good. I had a great appointment with my psychiatrist last Friday. He assured me that the fears I am having about the post-pardom time are perfectly normal and as he put it, "not your illness speaking. These are the fears of every first time mother." That made me feel a lot more relaxed. He did recommend that I get back in with my psychologist before the birth so that I can have another pair of eyes watching and another member of the team to help me through those tough few weeks when I'm getting very little sleep. He said that best thing I can do is plan ahead. Plan to have Jay take a couple of weeks off (which we are already planning on), plan to have my mom on speed dial in case I start to feel overwhelmed and need help, have the rest of my friends and family on alert for those first few weeks in case I need immediate help, plan to see my psychologist in those first few weeks for a check in, have the psychiatrist on speed dial in case I need to let him know what's going on, plan to enlist Jay's help in keeping the extra guests at the house to a minimum so that I can rest when she's sleeping instead of entertaining, plan to have friends come over and help us with the daily chores and bringing us/making us food. AND THEN.... ANTICIPATE THE BEST! He said the best indicator of how I will handle things is how I've handled things up to this point and so far I've handled everything beautifully. Don't get me wrong, it's a struggle sometimes and some days are better than others. But on the whole I've done beautifully. So, there's no reason to assume that I'll do any differently after Lily gets here.

I had to make my first parental decision over the weekend. My mom and I were planning on going to the mountains to see my cousin and her brand new baby, but when we got up on Saturday, we realized that the weather was turning bad and only looked to get worse the further west we went. So after a few phone calls and some surfing on Weather.com, I had to decide to call off the trip. I was really bummed because it was one of the only weekends I had left open before the doctor starts talking about travel restrictions, but I also knew that even the slightest fender bender could be really bad for me and Lily and on top of that ice and snow are not a pregnant woman's best friend. I'm not usually a clumsy person, but I tend to not be careful and not go slow and am really worried about falling and busting my butt this winter on the snow and ice. Thankfully my cousin, being a brand new mom herself, was very understanding and we are going to try for a couple of weekends down the road. But now, that weekend is starting to look icy so we'll have to see.

How's daddy doing?

Jay's wonderful as usual. He talked me down off the ledge the other night when I was having a freak out over whether or not we were going to have enough money to cover bills while I'm on maternity leave. I'm hoping to take 8 weeks and from my calculations it looked like we would need an exorbitant amount of money to make up for my lost income, but after listening to his math and factoring is some things I hadn't thought of it all sounded much more doable.

I think that's about it for this update. I can't believe I'm almost a week late again this week! And once again I forgot to take a weekly belly picture. :-( Oh well. I think this 3rd trimester thing is really kicking my put harder than I ever expected it to. And with all the holiday preparations and such the time just seems to fly by before I know what's happened! I can't believe we will be at 30 weeks tomorrow! I have an appointment with the midwife on Thursday and they will be very 2 weeks after that.

Have a good week everyone! Hopefully, week 30's update won't be quite so late!

28 Week Belly Picture

Taken on Sunday at 28 weeks and 4 days. We'll officially be 29 weeks tomorrow. Really starting to feel the effects of the 3rd trimester but nothing we can't handle. So ready to meet my little Lily!

Officially in the 3rd Trimester (Week 28)

First off... I must apologize for my tardiness in getting out last week's update. The week was crazy and it didn't stop over the weekend either. Because of the craziness, I didn't even get a 27 week belly picture taken! Can you believe that! Since about week 15ish I've only missed two weeks. Hopefully, this will be the last missed weekend.

So, this is our last week as an eggplant. And by even the most conservative calendars, we are officially in the 3rd Trimester now! CAN.YOU.BELIEVE.IT???? I know I can't! Seems like just yesterday we were at 10 weeks and I was marveling over being 1/4 of the way through. Now we are over 2/3 and just two weeks away from 3/4's! Sorry for all the fractions... it's the math geek in me coming out.

So what's up with Ms. Lily this week?

"Your baby's brain has developed more tissue and has formed grooves on the surface.  It's likely your baby has developed a more regular sleep sleep schedule in 20 to 30 minute intervals."

She is definitely becoming more and more active. Thankfully, it's not painful or even uncomfortable yet, but it can be quite distracting. Sometimes it feels like she's got the shakes or is having a seizure but I've been assured that this is totally normal. She's also changing positions a lot more often. For a long time she didn't want to do anything but lay straight transverse (or across my tummy with her head on one side and her feet on the other). But in the last couple of days she's spent a lot of time more diagonally. I'm hoping she's making her way into a heads down position. The midwife I saw on Monday said that we wouldn't worry any about her positioning until at least 34 weeks.

So, how's Mommy doing?

I'm doing quite well. It's been a busy week! Thanksgiving was wonderful! I love having all my brothers together at once, even if they don't all enjoy hanging out together. We stayed with what has become our family tradition and hit up Cracker Barrel for lunch.

We're quite the motley crew, huh? Some of my brother, Luke's, friends came with us and Jay's mom came too. We had a great time, although no matter how you sit at the table, with 10 people not everyone is going to get to talk to each other. The food was great, though, and the clean up (or lack there of) was even better! After lunch a bunch of us came back to our house for some wholesome family Wii fun. Being fairly eye-hand coordination challenged, I mostly watched but it was so fun to watch. Call it beginners luck or what have you, but mom kicked the boys butts at most things. It really was a great day. I love having family over at our house.

Friday, I had to work, so Jay hung out with Dan. And then Saturday was crazy. I spent most of the day trying to reorganize the craft room so that I could move out the changing table and have room for the Christmas tree. Jay was wonderful enough to put a fresh coat of spray paint on the changing table for me and it looks wonderful. I think we are going to try to touch up a few places where the paint didn't take very well, and then it'll be ready to put in the nursery. We got our Christmas tree on Saturday evening, but still have yet to decorate it. I'm dreading putting on the lights is really what's going on.

Monday morning, I had my midwife appointment where I was going to have to do the gestational diabetes test. I've heard a lot of mixed opinions on the test. Basically you have to come into the office and drink this really sugary drink and then have your blood drawn after waiting an hour. Some people have a hard time dealing with the sugary drink. And if you happen to throw up during the hour, you have to start all over again on another day. I generally have no problems with sugar. I'm a die hard sweet tea drinking sugar addict who has been known on occasion to have a donut and a soda for breakfast. But for some reason, this dumb drink made me feel like pure hell! They had me see the midwife in the hour between drinking the drink and getting my blood drawn which was really nice. One of the advantages of having a doctor's office with a lab right in it. By the time I had my blood drawn though, I was feeling quite woozy. I don't usually have problems getting blood drawn, but this time was different. I think I just psyched myself out. But regardless. I made it though and now just have to wait. The midwife said that they would only call me if I failed so to consider no news good news, but I doubt I'll be able to do that. I'll probably call over there this afternoon or tomorrow morning and see if someone will have mercy on me and tell me if I passed or failed. It's not the end of the world if I were to fail. They will have me do a 3 hour test before diagnosing me with GD, but I'd really prefer not to have to do that seeing how I reacted to the one hour test. But we shall see. Lily definitely liked the drink though because she was on a massive sugar high the whole entire day on Monday! I've never felt her be that active before. It was fun but distracting at the same time.

I'm starting to have more heartburn/indigestion/acid reflux issues, but it's manageable. I just don't go anywhere without my trusty TUMS. And I'm starting to have a lot of anxiety over what will happen in the first few weeks after the baby gets here. Being bi-polar is difficult. Being bi-polar and unmedicated is even more difficult, although I'm very proud of how I'm managing. Being bi-polar, unmedicated, AND sleep deprived, I'm afraid may add up to more than my phyche can handle. Sleep is vital to my ability to manage my illness. Even a little prolonged exhaustion can cause me to lose control over my emotions. I'm terrified to think of what the first few weeks after Lily comes home will be like. I've heard nothing but horror stories from parents who can only say, "I really have no idea how we got through those first few weeks." What if I slip into a depressive state? What if I'm not able to be a good mother to her because of my chemical imbalances? What if I'm not able to take care of her? What if she suffers because of me? What if I hurt her? What if? What if? What if?

I know nothing good comes of the "What If" game. It's just hard to fight it right now. Which probably means there's something funky going on with my hormones. I should have an appointment with my psychiatrist in the next few weeks and I'm going to discuss my fears with him. I want to be proactive about managing my illness. So if that means that I see him every week after Lily's born, or I make appointments with my psychologist for ever week after Lily's born until we are sure I'm ok, then I'm willing to do that. Maybe we need to talk about medication I can have on hand that won't interfere with breast feeding. Or maybe we just need to talk about what is understandable and normal ("baby blues") and what a true crisis would look like. I'll need to make sure that Jay, my mom, Luke, our friend Dan and my close girlfriends are on alert in the event that I need help on short notice. Like I said, I think I'll feel better after I talk with my psychiatrist.

In other good news, my childhood BFF's sister (I know that was borderline Maury show there but..) called her to say that they have realized that they no longer need one of the crib mattresses they have and asked if we would like it. Um... YES! Jay and I had just attempted to tackle the task of choosing a mattress for the crib but had gotten horribly overwhelmed and sticker-shocked and had decided to put it off for a little while since we didn't need it right this moment. Yay! Oh how I love hand me downs.

I've been trying my hardest to resist the urge, but have broken down on a couple of occasions and purchased a few cloths for Lily. My favorite so far is a onesie that says, "All I need is love, and my daddy." And I even got her a teeny-tiny pair of jeans this weekend. I'll pretty much take one of everything from Target right now. But like I said, I'm trying to rein it in. We don't know how big or small she's going to be until she's here so it's kind of silly to stock up on a bunch of clothes that she might be too big for.

So, how's daddy doing?

He's great too. He's been doing a lot of work lately to help get the nursery ready. He got his Christmas bonus a week or so ago which we have earmarked for the car seat. He's been great about doing research and helping us decide which seat would be best for us. He's also been really good to roll with any pregnancy hormones punches I deal out. They aren't usually targeted at him, but I've gotten very clingy lately and just seem to want him around all the time (which is very unlike me). He's very protective of me and insists that I not lift anything at all. That can be kind of annoying to this independent minded girl, but I'm working on letting him do more things for me. He's also been so good to listen to me when I'm having a hard time managing my emotions. He's very encouraging and understanding and lets me know that he'll always be there for me.

So, I think that's about it for the week. This weekend coming up will be fun. I'm heading out to see my cousin in the mountains and meet her son for the first time. I'm sure there will be pictures. I don't think I mentioned this before, but they as of our next appointment on December 16th, we will be moving to appointments every 2 weeks instead of every 4. This will last until about a month before and then we'll be going to appointments every week. It's just amazing how time is passing so quickly!

Happy Friday everyone! Have a great weekend.

An Eggplant, A Cauliflower, and a New Crib (Week 27)

Yep, that's right. Still about the size of an eggplant. Lily should be about 14.5 inches long this week, which is about the size of the head of a cauliflower. She should weight about 2 lbs too. Wow! No wonder her movements keep getting stronger and more noticeable. I thought my mom was going to get to feel her this weekend. She was bouncing all around in there, but just like the game she likes to play with daddy, she hid from grandma too. Oh well. Soon enough.

So what else is up with Ms. Lily this week?

"This week your baby looks like a thinner, redder, more wrinkled version of what she will look like at birth, but in the next few weeks more fat will fill out her appearance.  Your baby's immune system is continuing to mature as are her lungs which are still practicing breathing amniotic fluid."

How's Mommy doing?

I'm doing very well, which continues the trend over the last couple of weeks. I'm not sure if it's really the effects of the Hypnobabies or if my hormones have shifted as we finish up the 2nd trimester or maybe I'm just learning to manage better without the medication. Whatever is happening though, I'm all for it. I find myself stressing and worrying less than I did earlier in the pregnancy. There are quite a few girls on my boards who are being put on bedrest or diagnosed with gestational diabetes or pre-eclampsia. Two girls have even given birth to premmies. I would have expected that I would be terrified of these things myself. But I'm not. I know that there is nothing I can do about them, other than what I'm already doing and worrying about them won't make it any easier. This is nothing new or earth shattering, but for some reason my hormones/brain chemistry seems to be playing nicely and allowing me to not worry at the moment. That could change at any time though, so who knows.

This weekend was really awesome! Super busy! But awesome! We spent most of Saturday over at some new friends that we met through our Hypnobabies class. They are about 8 weeks behind us. It was so fun to get to know them and be able to talk babies, pregnancy, birthing, and being new home owners.

Then Sunday, I got a burr under my saddle that I wanted to go to IKEA to look at some dressers for the baby's room. Jay declined after seeing that my mom was available to go with me. We had such a good time. We talked and dreamed and designed the nursery and had coffee and cake in the restaurant. I pretty much want one of everything in their baby department. But while we were there, we found out that they are in the process of discontinuing the crib I want in the color I want!! OMG!! Having no idea who much longer it would be available at our store (IKEA doesn't do a lot of Internet sells), and given the relatively inexpensive price tag ($99), I texted Jay to see if I should go ahead and pick one up. He said, "yes" as long as I got someone to help put it in the car and didn't try to lift it myself.

I was soooooo excited!!! We've bought a few of the bigger items off of Craigslist but this was our first brand new baby purchase, and constitutes the official beginning of our nursery! Even better... Jay put it together that very night!! I helped!!! But he kept yelling at me. He's always afraid I'm going to lose my balance and fall or try to pick something up that's too heavy for me. He's wonderful!

Here it is in the box!

And here is the obligatory shot of the pregnant mommy standing in front of the crib!

We're still trying to figure out how to set up the nursery. We will actually be taking that swing downstairs to the living room and exchanging it for our Poang chair from IKEA.  for when we want to bounce/rock her. But for now, we use that chair and don't really have any extra room in the living room to put the swing. I have to clean off the changing table (which I use as a storage piece in my craft room) so Jay can put a fresh coat of paint on it. I wouldn't recommend buying a dedicated changing table because they aren't really useful after the baby comes (unless you're me and use it as an extra organizational piece for craft supplies or as a drink cart for dinner parties), but this one was left by the previous owners of our house who didn't want to pack it up. And free is always my favorite price!

I'm hoping to get to Jo Ann's very soon to start getting fabric so I can start on the bedding and some of the decorative pieces for the room. It's amazing how everything is coming together. I knew it would, but sometimes one wonders.

How's Daddy doing?

Daddy's doing great! As always. He's getting to feel Lily more and more which he loves. And he always says goodbye to her in the mornings before he leaves for work. I can't wait to see him become the dad he has always been destined to be.

Sorry for the delay on this post everyone! I can't believe that I'm a whole week behind. But that's ok. I'll get caught up in the next few days if not today. Thanksgiving week was crazy (more about that in the next post) and we had a crazy weekend too. Fortunately or unfortunately, it doesn't look like it's going to be slowing down anytime soon. I'm planning on going out of town to see my cousin this weekend (and meet her new little guy for the first time) because I realized that this is my only open weekend until after Christmas and the first of the year is when my doctor has recommend that I not travel more than an hour or so away. WOW! I can't believe how far we've come and how quickly Ms. Lily will be here.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Talk to you all soon.