I know it's an arbitrary milestone, but it's still fun to celebrate, and being the math geek that I am, I'm always up for celebrating weird number things! So, this week we are 35 weeks into the pregnancy, and only 35 days to go till our estimated due date!
And what a crazy week it's been, but we'll get to that later. This weeks Lily's still the size of honeydew melon measuring in at about 18 inches long and about 5.25 lbs. No wonder my hips and bump are starting to hurt and my legs are feeling sore!
So, what's she up to in there?
"At this point, all your baby's major organs should be nearly complete. Your baby's kidneys are completely developed and her liver is functional and capable of processing waste products."
Just like her Mama, she's more active on same days than others, and she gets the hick ups fairly often. It's so cute and I know it's the hick ups because I get these light bumps that come at rhythmic intervals. Her movement now feels more like movement instead of kicks. Since she's running out of room, she doesn't really have space to kick anymore. So, it feels more like her repositioning. Although sometimes I get a little foot that sticks out below my ribs. It happens so frequently now that Daddy has taken to calling her "little foot". :-) It's adorable. One sure way to get her moving is to drink something ice cold. Pretty much as soon as I take a drink of ice water, she starts dancing. I filled up my cup and sipped on it on my commute home the other day and she danced almost the whole time which is an odd time for her to be moving.
So, how's Mama doing?
Well, it's been an interesting week with both ups and downs. This past Friday I had an appointment with my Psychiatrist. He pretty much took one look at me and starting digging for his prescription pad. I knew I was having a harder and harder time dealing with the anxiety over the last few weeks. Basically, I don't think I ever really recovered from the drama surrounding the holidays. But since I was still getting up and going to work and basically functioning, I figured I was doing good under the circumstance. This is why I see a professional. He said that he was seeing a pretty serious increase in depression symptoms, and that we really needed tackle them before the baby came. So... he wrote me a prescription for Zoloft. I was crushed.
I cried all the way to the car, all the way to work, and for about 10 minutes in the parking lot before I could go in. I felt like a failure. (Probably an indication of how badly the prescription was needed.) I felt like my body was failing me, like I was unable to take care of my baby, that with just 6 weeks to go I had failed. If I could only relax more, if I only listened to my hypnobabies more, if I were only stronger, then I could make it. In my head I know these were all lies, but the feeling was so strong at the same time. It probably took me until Monday to really deal with everything and become comfortable with the idea of going back on the meds. I did decide to wait a few days to start the meds, that way I could get confirmation from my midwife that she was comfortable with me being on them. She came back with an emphatic... TAKE THE DRUGS! She reassured me that given my situation the benefits outweighed the risks and that she's prescribed Zoloft and cared for many women who have been on it during their pregnancies and she's never seen a problem. She also said that it's much better to get on it now and give my body a few weeks to adjust to it then to wait until after the birth and have to deal with any adjustments on top of having a brand new baby. She also said it's better to take it now before I get myself into a hole that I have to dig out of.
Thankfully, I can still breastfeed on this med. She will actually get less of the drug through the breastmilk than she's getting right now through the placenta. So, we are going to give it a shot. I started on it yesterday and feel pretty good at the moment. The last time I went on them I could feel a difference within a few hours and this wasn't much different. I felt noticeably more tired yesterday but not in the overwhelmed, "I just want to go to bed and sleep for days to get away from everything" sort of way. It was more of a, "wow! Now that I'm not so anxious all the time I'm more exhausted then I thought I was" kind of way.
My psychiatrist also highly, highly, highly recommended that I get in with a psychologist so I have an appointment with the therapist in his office in a couple of weeks. It's going to be nice to talk with someone, and it'll be nice to have another team member watching for problems when Lily gets here.
So, that was the drama from Friday. Saturday was our baby shower and it was wonderful! Since I've already written a whole blog about it, I'll only say that it was the bestest baby shower in the history of baby showers and we were so blessed!!
Then Sunday we had our breastfeeding class at the hospital. Jay being the trooper that he is, even went with me! Thankfully, there were lots of men in the class. In fact, I think only one woman was there by herself and that was because this wasn't their first child and Daddy was home with the outside child. Although I knew most of the information, I am glad I went. It was nice to hear about how things should go so that you know if they aren't going well. For instance, she said not to be surprised if the second night neither I nor the baby get any sleep at all. The second night is one of the hardest and it's normal for the baby to not want to be put down at all and for her to want to feed almost constantly. The instructor wasn't the best presenter I've ever seen, but she was funny at the same time. Someone asked about alcohol and breastfeeding. She said that the basic rule is, if you are too inebriated to take care of the baby, you have had too much to breastfeed. Otherwise, just don't spill your red wine on the baby! Hehe.
Our hospital is very, very, very pro-breastfeeding which is super awesome!! They have multiple lactation consultants on staff and we will see one every day that we are in the hospital whether we are having problems or not. They also encourage the "breast crawl" with newborns as a routine practice. If you've never heard of this, it's an amazing phenomena. Basically, if the baby is placed directly on the Mama's tummy or chest immediately after birth she will crawl her way to the breast and latch on without much, if any, help. I've heard about it on my natural childbirth forums, but thought it was considered a pretty crunchy, hippy thing by anyone outside of those circles. I really shouldn't be surprised though, given how forward thinking our hospital is about their infant care practices.
Monday we got the night off, but Tuesday we had a Meet 'n Greet at the pediatricians office. Basically, it's a class of sorts for new expectant parents and allows us to meet some of the staff, hear a bunch of information, and get some questions answered without it taking up their appointment time to do individual consultations with potential parents. We chose this pediatrician's office because it was the office I grew up going too and they have an office that is really convenient to our house. The class was a great way to get our questions answered. They have some great policies about same day sick appointments and there is always someone on call to take phone calls. They said that when in doubt always call them first. They maybe able to help us over the phone, or can tell us where we should go (their office, an urgent care, or the ER).
One of the pediatricians I saw when I was young even led the class, but I didn't get to talk with her afterwards. My mom tells the funniest story about this doctor though. I started seeing her when I stopped wanting to see the male doctor I'd seen since birth. Well one day she was telling us about her kids and how she had a nanny and my mom took advantage of the opportunity to have a teachable moment. When we got out to the car she made a big deal about how this doctor was able to be a doctor and still have children and how she had a nanny who took care of her kids so that she could still take care of her patients, etc, etc, etc. I responded with, "That's really cool! I think that's what I want to do when I get big!" Getting excited my mom said, "Really, honey. What's that?" And I replied with, "I want to be a... nanny!" Hehehehehehehehe! Point totally missed! Oh well. My mom gave it her best shot.
The pediatricians office also has lactation consultants on their staff which is awesome as well. I really think this is going to be a good fit for us, which is good because I know I'm going to need a little hand holding for the first few months/years. One thing I wanted to ask in private but didn't get a chance to was about the history of mental illness that runs on both sides of our families. With the bi-polar coming down my side and the schizophrenia that comes down Jay's I know we need someone who can help us watch out for signs that Lily is suffering. I don't want her to go years and years trying to figure out what is wrong with her. I want to make sure that we have help for her in the event that she needs it. But I'm sure I'll be able to discuss that in one of our first newborn appointments.
That was certainly not the end of the excitement. Wednesday was my midwife appointment which I'll be having on a weekly basis from here on out. And then last night (Thursday) was the Carseat Safety class at the hospital. But since these are technically a part of next week, I'll leave them for next weeks update.
I hope everyone has a great weekend! I'm hoping to get lots of rest and get lots done around the house. I'm really anxious to get all the wonderful things we got at the baby shower washed and put away in Lily's nursery. I can't believe how close we are getting! Happy Friday everyone!