Some of you know this already, but for the benefit of those who don't, I've been wanting to get a tattoo for about a year now. I never wanted one when I was younger because, well... a) I have a HUGE needle phobia and b) I didn't just want a star on my anckle or a butterfly on my hip. Like most of my jewlery and everything in my house I like things that are meaningful to me. So about this time last year I realized that there is one image that I've been gravitating towards for a while. It's of the spiral goddess. She has large hips and a spiral over her womb. It symbolizes new beginnings as well as the life force coming from the womb of the women. It's found in Neolithic and Paleolithic societies and in societies where this or similar images are found, there tends to be evadence of more gender equality. It's only when the dieties become male that gender inequality begins to be seen.
So, now that you have a little background on the symbol. I wanted to get it last year before I went to my (now ex) sister-in-law's wedding. Mainly the motivation would have been to piss off my in-laws. You know the black sheep daughter in law coming to the big christian social event of the century with a huge pagan symbol tattooed on her back. Well, due to a few circumstances I wasn't able to get it then, and I'm so glad I didn't. That was a very bad time in my life and the last thing I would have wanted to do was memorialize it. I've been thinking about it ever since though.
So a few weeks ago, I looked around and realized that THIS is the perfect time to get it. I actually have a wedding to go to back in Charlotte the same weekend as the dissasteress in law wedding last year. I decided I wanted to get my tattoo in time for it so that my parents would have a chance to see it while I was home (and I needed a deadline or I would just put it off and put it off). Then the more I thought about it the more revelations I started getting.
First of all, this is the most important "New Beginning" of my life. I've ended an unhealthy marriage, moved out on my own, reunited with my soulmate, lost 30 lbs, and am truly happy for the first time in my life.
Second, I've truly come to realize that the life force of the universe flows though me, and that I am a lot stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. Even though I love Jeremy more than anything in the world, I've realized that I can take care of myself. I don't NEED anyone to take care of me. I really feel that this will make me an even better partner to him.
It is unbelievable how different my life is now than it was this time last year. I probably wouldn't have believed you if you had told me this would all happen in the next year. But I am so grateful. It's not been easy, though. Just like getting my tattoo. It's been very hard, very scary and painful at times. But through all the pain, discomfort and fear I feel I've emerged with something more beautiful, more graceful, more grateful and more compassionate than I could have ever imagined... a beautiful tattoo as well as a beautiful life.
So, memorializing this time in my life with a tattoo just seemed obvious. These photos were taken during and right afterwards with my camera phone. I'm hoping to take a few more shots tonight or this weekend, and I'll post some here. The guy who tattooed me was amazing. I HIGHLY recommend him. He's very compassionate and has a wonderfully light touch. His myspace site is...
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=6042077
Everyone told me that I would become addicted. I always thought, "Not me..." but I think I may have been wrong. Now I'm trying to figure out what I want to add onto it.
bye,
bonnie
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