So, this is our last week as an eggplant. And by even the most conservative calendars, we are officially in the 3rd Trimester now! CAN.YOU.BELIEVE.IT???? I know I can't! Seems like just yesterday we were at 10 weeks and I was marveling over being 1/4 of the way through. Now we are over 2/3 and just two weeks away from 3/4's! Sorry for all the fractions... it's the math geek in me coming out.
So what's up with Ms. Lily this week?
"Your baby's brain has developed more tissue and has formed grooves on the surface. It's likely your baby has developed a more regular sleep sleep schedule in 20 to 30 minute intervals."
She is definitely becoming more and more active. Thankfully, it's not painful or even uncomfortable yet, but it can be quite distracting. Sometimes it feels like she's got the shakes or is having a seizure but I've been assured that this is totally normal. She's also changing positions a lot more often. For a long time she didn't want to do anything but lay straight transverse (or across my tummy with her head on one side and her feet on the other). But in the last couple of days she's spent a lot of time more diagonally. I'm hoping she's making her way into a heads down position. The midwife I saw on Monday said that we wouldn't worry any about her positioning until at least 34 weeks.
So, how's Mommy doing?
I'm doing quite well. It's been a busy week! Thanksgiving was wonderful! I love having all my brothers together at once, even if they don't all enjoy hanging out together. We stayed with what has become our family tradition and hit up Cracker Barrel for lunch.
We're quite the motley crew, huh? Some of my brother, Luke's, friends came with us and Jay's mom came too. We had a great time, although no matter how you sit at the table, with 10 people not everyone is going to get to talk to each other. The food was great, though, and the clean up (or lack there of) was even better! After lunch a bunch of us came back to our house for some wholesome family Wii fun. Being fairly eye-hand coordination challenged, I mostly watched but it was so fun to watch. Call it beginners luck or what have you, but mom kicked the boys butts at most things. It really was a great day. I love having family over at our house.
Friday, I had to work, so Jay hung out with Dan. And then Saturday was crazy. I spent most of the day trying to reorganize the craft room so that I could move out the changing table and have room for the Christmas tree. Jay was wonderful enough to put a fresh coat of spray paint on the changing table for me and it looks wonderful. I think we are going to try to touch up a few places where the paint didn't take very well, and then it'll be ready to put in the nursery. We got our Christmas tree on Saturday evening, but still have yet to decorate it. I'm dreading putting on the lights is really what's going on.
Monday morning, I had my midwife appointment where I was going to have to do the gestational diabetes test. I've heard a lot of mixed opinions on the test. Basically you have to come into the office and drink this really sugary drink and then have your blood drawn after waiting an hour. Some people have a hard time dealing with the sugary drink. And if you happen to throw up during the hour, you have to start all over again on another day. I generally have no problems with sugar. I'm a die hard sweet tea drinking sugar addict who has been known on occasion to have a donut and a soda for breakfast. But for some reason, this dumb drink made me feel like pure hell! They had me see the midwife in the hour between drinking the drink and getting my blood drawn which was really nice. One of the advantages of having a doctor's office with a lab right in it. By the time I had my blood drawn though, I was feeling quite woozy. I don't usually have problems getting blood drawn, but this time was different. I think I just psyched myself out. But regardless. I made it though and now just have to wait. The midwife said that they would only call me if I failed so to consider no news good news, but I doubt I'll be able to do that. I'll probably call over there this afternoon or tomorrow morning and see if someone will have mercy on me and tell me if I passed or failed. It's not the end of the world if I were to fail. They will have me do a 3 hour test before diagnosing me with GD, but I'd really prefer not to have to do that seeing how I reacted to the one hour test. But we shall see. Lily definitely liked the drink though because she was on a massive sugar high the whole entire day on Monday! I've never felt her be that active before. It was fun but distracting at the same time.
I'm starting to have more heartburn/indigestion/acid reflux issues, but it's manageable. I just don't go anywhere without my trusty TUMS. And I'm starting to have a lot of anxiety over what will happen in the first few weeks after the baby gets here. Being bi-polar is difficult. Being bi-polar and unmedicated is even more difficult, although I'm very proud of how I'm managing. Being bi-polar, unmedicated, AND sleep deprived, I'm afraid may add up to more than my phyche can handle. Sleep is vital to my ability to manage my illness. Even a little prolonged exhaustion can cause me to lose control over my emotions. I'm terrified to think of what the first few weeks after Lily comes home will be like. I've heard nothing but horror stories from parents who can only say, "I really have no idea how we got through those first few weeks." What if I slip into a depressive state? What if I'm not able to be a good mother to her because of my chemical imbalances? What if I'm not able to take care of her? What if she suffers because of me? What if I hurt her? What if? What if? What if?
I know nothing good comes of the "What If" game. It's just hard to fight it right now. Which probably means there's something funky going on with my hormones. I should have an appointment with my psychiatrist in the next few weeks and I'm going to discuss my fears with him. I want to be proactive about managing my illness. So if that means that I see him every week after Lily's born, or I make appointments with my psychologist for ever week after Lily's born until we are sure I'm ok, then I'm willing to do that. Maybe we need to talk about medication I can have on hand that won't interfere with breast feeding. Or maybe we just need to talk about what is understandable and normal ("baby blues") and what a true crisis would look like. I'll need to make sure that Jay, my mom, Luke, our friend Dan and my close girlfriends are on alert in the event that I need help on short notice. Like I said, I think I'll feel better after I talk with my psychiatrist.
In other good news, my childhood BFF's sister (I know that was borderline Maury show there but..) called her to say that they have realized that they no longer need one of the crib mattresses they have and asked if we would like it. Um... YES! Jay and I had just attempted to tackle the task of choosing a mattress for the crib but had gotten horribly overwhelmed and sticker-shocked and had decided to put it off for a little while since we didn't need it right this moment. Yay! Oh how I love hand me downs.
I've been trying my hardest to resist the urge, but have broken down on a couple of occasions and purchased a few cloths for Lily. My favorite so far is a onesie that says, "All I need is love, and my daddy." And I even got her a teeny-tiny pair of jeans this weekend. I'll pretty much take one of everything from Target right now. But like I said, I'm trying to rein it in. We don't know how big or small she's going to be until she's here so it's kind of silly to stock up on a bunch of clothes that she might be too big for.
So, how's daddy doing?
He's great too. He's been doing a lot of work lately to help get the nursery ready. He got his Christmas bonus a week or so ago which we have earmarked for the car seat. He's been great about doing research and helping us decide which seat would be best for us. He's also been really good to roll with any pregnancy hormones punches I deal out. They aren't usually targeted at him, but I've gotten very clingy lately and just seem to want him around all the time (which is very unlike me). He's very protective of me and insists that I not lift anything at all. That can be kind of annoying to this independent minded girl, but I'm working on letting him do more things for me. He's also been so good to listen to me when I'm having a hard time managing my emotions. He's very encouraging and understanding and lets me know that he'll always be there for me.
So, I think that's about it for the week. This weekend coming up will be fun. I'm heading out to see my cousin in the mountains and meet her son for the first time. I'm sure there will be pictures. I don't think I mentioned this before, but they as of our next appointment on December 16th, we will be moving to appointments every 2 weeks instead of every 4. This will last until about a month before and then we'll be going to appointments every week. It's just amazing how time is passing so quickly!
Happy Friday everyone! Have a great weekend.
1 comment:
Gosh! Your brothers have all grown up!
So good to see the family picture!
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